happy birthday vincent
ever since i can remember, i have known that i wanted to be a mom. i had three opportunities before you. two i chose not to follow through with, one decided for me. the minute i saw your face, i knew that you were my soul mate, my first born, my angel, my sidekick.
you are so smart, and you are hilariously funny. you keep me honest, you keep me on my toes, you keep me invested. you remind me every single day that i am at the same time so important, and yet always and naturally unimportant. your nonna was right…motherhood is equally empowering and humbling. i would like to add galvanizing to that.
you are happy, and that is beautiful. you are starting to get very opinionated, and that is beautiful too, even when i am screaming into a pillow in another room from you. you are my son, how could you be anything but rebellious? i love you and i understand you.
you have been here for four years today, although you and i have been together for almost five. i cry as i am writing this because i will most likely not have any more children, and that is fine. i cry only because i am grateful that every second of your existence has been part of mine, and i planned you, wanted you. whether i am able to give you a sibling or not, you were on purpose my love.
i remember the first time i felt you. i remember it totally. i remember finally deciding to find out what you were, after two really vivid dreams about you being a boy. i remember it all.
before we met, we were already together.
turning one.
turning two
turning three
last week.
and i will be back soon to put a picture of you up from today. you are playing dress up, the play room looks like elton john just had a temper tantrum in it, and i can hear you clomping up the hallway in my old high heel boots that you swiped to complete your pirate outfit.
you can have them. i love you little boy.
